JUZ FOR LAUGHS

ROMANCE MATHEMATICS

SMART MAN + SMART WOMAN = ROMANCE

SMART MAN + DUMB WOMAN = AFFAIR

DUMB MAN + SMART WOMAN = MARRIAGE

DUMB MAN + DUMB WOMAN = PREGNANCY BEFORE MARRIAGE

OFFICE ARITHMETIC

SMART BOSS + SMART EMPLOYEE = PROFIT

SMART BOSS + DUMB EMPLOYEE = PRODUCTION

DUMB BOSS + SMART EMPLOYEE = PROMOTION

DUMB BOSS + DUMB EMPLOYEE = OVERTIME

SHOPPING MATH

A MAN WILL PAY $2 FOR A $1 ITEM HE NEEDS

A WOMAN WILL PAY $1 FOR A $2 ITEM THAT SHE DOESN'T NEED

GENERAL EQUATIONS & STATISTICS

A WOMAN WORRIES ABOUT THE FUTURE UNTIL SHE GETS A HUSBAND

A MAN NEVER WORRIES ABOUT THE FUTURE UNTIL HE GETS A WIFE

A SUCCESSFUL MAN IS ONE WHO MAKES MONEY THAN HIS WIFE CAN SPEND

A SUCCESSFUL WOMAN IS ONE WHO CAN FIND SUCH A MAN

HAPPINESS

TO BE HAPPY WITH A MAN, YOU MUST UNDERSTAND HIM A LOT AND LOVE HIM A LITTLE

TO BE HAPPY WITH A WOMAN, YOU MUST LOVE HER A LOT AND TRY NOT TO UNDERSTAND HER AT ALL

LONGEVITY

MARRIED MEN LIVE LONGER THAN SINGLE MEN DO, BUT MARRIED MEN ARE A LOT MORE WILLING TO DIE

PROSPERITY TO CHANGE

A WOMAN MARRIES A MAN EXPECTING HE WILL CHANGE, BUT HE DOESN'T

A MAN MARRIES A WOMAN EXPECTING THAT SHE WON'T CHANGE, AND SHE DOES

DISCUSSION TECHNIQUE

A WOMAN HAS THE LAST WORD IN ANY ARGUMENT

ANYTHING A MAN SAYS AFTER THAT IS THE BEGINNING OF A NEW ARGUMENT

HOW TO STOP PEOPLE FROM BUGGING YOU ABOUT GETTING MARRIED

OLD AUNTS USED TO COME UP TO ME ATHE WEDDINGS, POKING ME IN THE RIBS AND CACKLING, TELLING ME, 'YOU'RE THE NEXT.' THEY STOPPED AFTER I STARTED DOING THE SAME THING TO THEM AT FUNERALS.